So, my licensor is coming today to inspect the daycare. Everything is in order, and has been for months and months. So, why am I freaking out a little? One, I have never had someone come and inspect my home, when I wasn’t trying to sell it.
This is almost as nerve-wracking as those teaching interviews that they ask a specific set of questions AND film. I have had two of those - could they see me sweat on the film? Ha! I guess it wasn’t all bad, I got both of those jobs.
I have been through the inspection list many times - probably four times in the last few days. It’s all good, but still. Sure, parents pretty much inspect the place when they come to interview, but they make me nervous, too!
Yeah, I know it’s January. It’s the middle of winter. However, I am up at 1:34am because it got just too damn hot in bed! LMAO! That sounds great, but it is not a romantic thing. I’m talking hot flashes. Night freakin sweats. This sucks.
I’m almost 43, so I guess it’s time for this nonsense to start, but OMG, this is crazy.
So, my Chi’s love me. That means I get all three of them surrounding me on the bed. If you don’t know anything about chihuahuas, let me explain; they are very loving, they love to be near you, and they are little balls of fire! Wonderful if you are in your 20s or even 30s and it’s cold at night. Really sucky if you are in your 40s and can produce a pretty awesome ball of heat all by yourself. Now, multiply that heat times THREE! !Ay, Chihuahua!
So, I’m up because I couldn’t take it anymore! One came out of the room with me and is asleep, so maybe I can get to sleep with only two next to me. Thank god for a king sized bed.
Daycare prep is coming along nicely. I attended my second orientation class last night. I now know everything that I need to be licensed. Hooray! I have already done quite a bit of it; so I hope to get my application in ASAP.
Today, I have to have a national criminal check done. Fingerprinting! Can you believe they do this in a Hampton Inn? Weird.
I love this picture. This is exactly how I feel right now; like I am coming out of some dark place and finding beauty.
I read some of my past blogs. “Saved” is an interesting one. It’s over a year ago, and I was afraid of losing my job to teacher lay-offs. Little did I know then, that I would be laid off this year.
It felt like a death in the family. I went through all of the stages of grief. Then that lovely little oasis appeared… last year, when I feared lay-offs, I had the idea of returning to my roots, and opening a day care. At the time, I didn’t think it would happen. Today, I am making it reality. I have spent weeks readying myself, my family, and my home. We are just about ready to open the doors and invite the little ones in.
It feels so FREE. I love high school kids. I will miss them terribly, but this has called me, so I’m answering. Some of my colleagues said, “I hate that you’re leaving teaching.” Who said I was leaving??? Don’t we teach our children when they are young? They aren’t just absent minded little beings. They also LEARN. One even said, “You have a gift. You should find another teaching job in a high school.” Well, that answer is a little more challenging for me. I am 42 years old. I would like to retire SOMETIME. If I have to be the new kid again, I don’t see retiring anywhere in my future. Also, I cannot - NO - WILL NOT be a political pawn for a superintendent to use to bribe more money from the wallets of a community ever again. I had “Bargaining Chip” tattooed on my head for three years. NOPE, not doing it. My pride will not allow it. So, if what she said is true, and I do indeed have a gift, then I will use it elsewhere.
Ah, summer. All year I look forward to summer. In May, I am begging for the last day of school as much as my students. Then it arrives. I exhale, and get ready for days on end of bliss. Is there a such thing as too much bliss? I don’t think so, but I must find something TO DO! Ha ha. I’m getting bored.
I had a huge Weeds marathon, and decided that (1) I am so glad to not be single anymore (2) I have to look into more life insurance, so I don’t slip into the seedy underside of society to pay bills (3) I watch WAY too much TV. My mother told me all of the time that I need to turn off the television. But MTV was hot, and hell, to the lonely child I was, it was company. In the summer, I fall back to my days of TV. It’s even on when I’m not watching it (like right now). Maybe TV is therapy. I can fall into these fictional lives, and not have to worry about bills, or laundry, or whatever I’m trying to escape. It’s funny, I can do the same with a good book.
I used to watch way into the wee hours when I was a kid, but today I cannot do that anymore. Not just because I’m a week older than Jesus, but because I love the early mornings. Hubby has gone to work, the kids are still asleep, and I have hours to myself. I love love love it! There is something so peaceful about sitting on the deck with a cup of tea.
But, all of these things are not enough. Turns out the mean little bitch, aka panic attacks, is back with a vengeance. Last school year was the epitome of a stressful year. I spent months wondering if I would have a job for the next year (I do). I thought I was handling it, but I wasn’t. Depression started seeping in and with that, came the regular freak outs. I tamed them with meditation successfully for months. Yesterday morning proved I could not zen my way out anymore. So, two lovely new med prescriptions later, I have some peace. So, while I wait for them to kick in, I’m still on edge. But the TV is on and I have my tea.
I had an interesting day today. I have pushed to change a novel we’re reading in the senior English class. We were reading The Secret Sharer by Joseph Conrad. SNORE. The kids hate it, and frankly, so do I. I suggested that we read Toni Morrison’s Beloved instead.
Beloved is a lyrical and beautiful piece of prose. Morrison’s writing is so profound, I don’t know how anyone can read her work and not be brought to tears. Excellent. Here’s the rub…there’s some explicit stuff in this novel. It has sex and violence. Oh Dear. Don’t get me wrong, I was a little apprehensive at first, but I feel what can be learned far outweighs any sex or violence in the book.
I thought I’d get an argument from my colleague who also teaches the class - NOPE. He supports it fully! WOW! Here’s to next year’s seniors getting to have a out of this world literary experience!
Defeated!
This year’s seniors! (Class of 2010) UGH! Their apathy is wearing me out! I know I shouldn’t compare them to last year’s bunch of kids - just as a parent should not compare - but they just are NOT the same! It amazes me that they are from the same community. I do not understand the selfishness and self-absorbancy that some of them display. Now, I am not saying that all of them are this way…that is certainly not the case. I have met a some that are fantastic! However, the small handfull that are can suck the air from a room with their rudeness. Sigh. I left as soon as the bell rang today. I’d had enough.
I needed to be at home. I needed to vent and be loud. Aaaaah - that felt good.
Whew. Big ole sigh of relief. I have spent the last 6 months (at least) worried about the financial crisis in my school district. If they didn’t find a way to cover a $2.1 million dollar deficit, 30 teachers could have received pink slips next month.
We had the BIG school board meeting last night. We were SAVED! I feel like so much stress has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel free now. Even more…to save money, school will start at 8:10 next year instead of 7:30. Damn! It’s a beautiful thing.
This is almost as nerve-wracking as those teaching interviews that they ask a specific set of questions AND film. I have had two of those - could they see me sweat on the film? Ha! I guess it wasn’t all bad, I got both of those jobs.
So, I’m up because I couldn’t take it anymore! One came out of the room with me and is asleep, so maybe I can get to sleep with only two next to me. Thank god for a king sized bed.
